I read a quote the other day by a
general authority who said that “as we draw closer to the Savior, we realize
how far apart we really are from Him.” The general authority says that as our
awareness becomes greater, our desire to draw ever closer to Him increases
greatly. He says that that is true humility when we know how far apart we are
from our Savior. I have come to know for myself this semester that I am so far
apart from my Savior and that I truly need Him.
This
semester I was going back and forth on if I should try to develop humility or
charity. It started out as charity and then it went to humility and now it is
charity. There are a few things I have learned for myself this semester on
charity and humility. First of all, charity is everything. It is the pure love
of Christ and it truly is the condescension of God which was manifested through
love. Love is the perpetuator of everything. It is the only sustaining grace
that enables us to endure to the end. Not just from a loving Heavenly Father
but also from the love that we have for the Lord. This love is requisite to
inheriting eternal life because it is the greatest of all of the virtues of
God. The Lord has said in Moroni 7:46 “if ye have not charity, ye are nothing.”
Even according to Paul in 1 Corinthians 13:2 it says “And though I have the
gift of prophecy, and understand all mysteries, and all knowledge; and though I
have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, and have not charity, I am nothing.”
Whatever knowledge we do obtain in this life; it will not matter if we don’t
have Christ-like love.
I
have had several opportunities and experiences this semester that have enabled
me to develop this heavenly virtue of charity. First of all, I took up a nanny
job during the semester that has been taxing physically, mentally and
emotionally. Before this job, I swore to myself that I would never become a
nanny. But after much thought and prayer, I decided to take a leap of faith to
this new opportunity. I was so nervous to become a nanny that I “[prayed] unto
the Father with all the energy of heart, that [I] might be filled with this
love” (Moroni 7:48) for those kids. I prayed so hard in my heart the night
before and the drive over that I would love them and be a good nanny for them.
My testimony of prayer strengthened as I found myself wanting to give
everything I had to them. The first few days of being their nanny was
Celestial; they really enjoyed me and I really enjoyed them. The next week,
however, I got relaxed in my prayers and in my heart to give them everything. The
results were stifling different than from what I had previously experienced. The
little boy was not happy to see me in the morning or when I came to pick him up
from school. I didn’t realize how slothful I had become from not feeling the
need to be diligent in my prayer or scripture study. I was exhausted and
disappointed. That Sunday I felt impressed to fast for Sydney and Ford on being
filled with love for them and that they would like me in return. After my fast
I felt impressed to look up nanny tips. The impression that I got from the
reading was that Sydney and Ford could tell that I wasn’t very happy to be
there and it was affecting my attitude and my ability to help them. From that
realization I promised myself that no matter what, I was going to give my heart
to the job more and to those kids so that could feel my inner happiness. I was
so thrilled and so grateful that Heavenly Father answered my fast. The next day
was wonderful. All of us, including the little boy, Ford, was so happy to see
me and he listened to me more. My love for them has grown since then and I have
come to know for myself what it means to “become like a little child.”
Another way that
my charity has grown during this semester is through my prayers. I have noticed
a difference in when I pray for others and when I pray primarily for myself. I
honestly don’t feel the spirit as much when I am worried over my own needs and
desires. From this last general women’s conference, Sister Linda K. Burton gave
a talk on the new initiative called “I was a stranger” and she expounded upon
the need to serve those outside of the country and also our neighbors. All of
the talks that were spoken in that conference was centered on service and the
need to be attuned with the spirit. My prayers have changed, in the way that I
pray for people as well. Instead of asking “please bless my husband,” I ask
“Heavenly Father, how can I serve my husband.” And then He tells me. I have also
asked Heavenly Father to help me to know who I can serve and how I can serve
them. When I act on those promptings, I can see how my desire to help others
increases and my love for the world increases as well.
In
conclusion, the fruits that I have experienced from exercising my faith in
Jesus Christ in developing charity have been miraculous. I can see how the Lord
is using me as an instrument in His hands to bless the lives of those around
me. I can see how He desires me to become like Him as I turn to Him and turn to
others. I feel a greater abundance of joy and peace that I know can only come
from “pure religion.” Pure religion is rendering service to others like Christ
ceaselessly did and continues to do through the hands of others. I am so grateful
that I was able to have these experiences this semester. I leave my humble
testimony with you in the name of Jesus Christ amen.